Here is an example of understanding oneself

This is an example widely used during Jeevan Vidya workshops. Let us say A and B are two people, and we make a record of what A feels about a mistake he/she has made and about a mistake B has made. This is what it would look like:

A: I am a human being, and so is B.
A: I want to be happy, and perhaps B wants the same.
A: I make mistakes, and so does B.
A: When I do make a mistake, it is unintentional. B, however, almost always makes mistakes on purpose, because that is the kind of person he is. His family background, too, is like this.
A: If I make a mistake, I would like to be reprimanded gently. Even when I make repeated mistakes, I should still be reprimanded only gently. But if B commits mistakes, he can be scolded. If he does so repeatedly, he must be punished severely. Sometimes it appears as if he will not change if he is not taught a lesson.

This is what A feels about B. And perhaps, B also thinks the same about A. Now, place yourself in A's shoes. Think of any person around you who you feel fits into B's character at times or always. It could be your wife, your children, neighbour, a friend, a co-religionist, etc. Is it not possible that the B for your A, can perceive you as the B for his A? This is what is common between all of us. The more we realise this about all the Bs around us, the more our attitudes toward others will change. This will also change the way we think of ourselves.